Alright, alright, alright…it’s time to address this. Not in some charming McConaughey way, either. That is giving these people too much credit. Instead think of it as a much needed exorcism for your ears. After which, you can go back to your JoJo Siwa…or whatever. 2020 has been strange enough, but it was also the year Vin Diesel decided to come out with a song…
https://youtu.be/1deMR8Qg67Y
Thanks Kelly Clarkson…for that. Her and Rachel Ray are the same person. I swear to God. Anyways, I thought that was it as far audio anomalies go, but I was wrong. Mike Tyson, of all people, lent his pipes to an EDM jam from the likes of Tiki Lau. Check it out.
Fame doesn’t equal talent. We know this. I don’t think some celebrities do however. That’s why Kim Kardashian released a song.
I think you see where I’m going here. In case you get your jimmies rustled by terrible songs by somewhat decent celebrities, I’ve compiled this list.
Eddie Murphy – Party All The Time
Wicked Wisdom – Bleed All Over Me (Jada Pinkett Smith’s Nu-Metal Band; Think Will Smith’s Wife sings Limp Bizkit)
Brie Larson – Finally Out Of P.E. (Captain Marvel in her younger days; She also contributes to soundtracks, see Scott Pilgrim)
Other members of the MCU, notably Robert Downey Jr and Scarlett Johansson, have also made music. And there’s a reason you haven’t heard of it by now. Because it’s trash.
Tom Hardy was once almost a rapper as well. His mixtape is internet gold if you can find it. Lindsay Lohan sang stuff once. I’m sure you’re aware that Lindsay Lohan did a lot of stuff once. Tyra Banks had a single, Jennifer Love Hewitt had a whole album released in Japan, Alyssa Milano had 4 Japanese albums, as well as Gwyneth Paltrow, who has done some country ditties. Heidi Montag, Ryan Gosling, Emma Roberts, and so on and so forth. It’s a strangely big list. I leave Shaquille O’Neal off of it, however, as he’s pretty legit musically. Who’s not, you ask? Pretty much everyone I’ve mentioned so far, but I’ve saved the best for last. And I might be taken to task for this one…but KOBE BRYANT almost had a rap career. R.I.P. Mamba for sure, and man, was it a good thing he stuck to his day job. Couldn’t find a youtube link, or any other one for that matter…which makes sense, because something that bad wouldn’t be tolerated by the man who’s legacy is built on being one of the best.
I think these people here are the reason people say things like “don’t quit y0ur day job.” Yeesh.
-Max
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