Fashion regrets?! I’ve had a few…

Fashion is stupid. And that’s not a hard fact to argue.

What are those? Shoulder boobs? I rest my case. Alas, it’s not something that you or I will regard, however, based on the sad fact that we want to coordinate our masks with the rest of our outfit. If we’re going to wear them, you better be damn sure we want to look good doing so. That being said, I’m sure you’ve committed crimes of fashion against yourself from time to time. Some may even say they’ve wandered out of the house looking like a steam punk version of Big Bird cruising a KFC parking lot for juicy breasts. You may have even justified that a jean jacket was way cooler than it’s year and a half hey day sometime during the dark ages of the 1980’s. If that’s the case, be thankful you didn’t explode near open flame with that much AquaNet in your hair, since it was basically FlexSeal for your follicles. That brain case is water tight. But I’m sure making dudes like Phil Swift flexseal all up in their pants wasn’t your goal when you first displayed your aptitude for fashion. It’s tough being a kid sometimes, no matter what era you grew up in. You’re broke af, and want to look good, so what can you do?

Oh, wait…I know! Try toe socks. Nothing like phalange foot coverings to ensure your virginity lasts longer than a SoundCloud rapper’s face tattoo on a job application.

Imagine these babies on your future partner’s feet. So much for Game of Thrones and chill. And I’m not above it. Not at all. I wanted nothing but JNCO jeans for a scary amount of my life. Yes…JNCO jeans. The clown car of fashion. Denim battle kilts for each leg. A wind tunnel’s wet dream. Yes, they made pants in which you can parasail in. Without a parachute. It was more than ugly. It was Robin Thicke’s career post “Blurred Lines” ugly…yeesh. How about you? Fashion faux pas? Lemme know. I can’t be the only one…