The temperature drops. The days shorten. The crisp breeze plants an invigorating smackeroo on exposed skin. Leaves, once verdant and plush, die a most beautiful death, vomiting massive hues of color in their expiration…a palleted death throe enjoyed by most of the world’s population (doubly if you’re a dendrophiliac) that is close to deciduous or coniferous concentrations. Or some crap like that. I don’t know. I don’t wear fingerless gloves and have affinity for Han Solo vests. Decorative gourd season isn’t something I celebrate as hard as some. I have the same love for fall as I do winter, or summer, or spring. Time is time… and it sure doesn’t act like the Avengers tell you it did in Endgame.
Or if you’re more of a Whovian…
One thing that even Marty McFly couldn’t erase from it’s current roster spot on the team of all-star how the hell is this still a thing things, is Pumpkin Spice. It’s got it’s own acronym, for Pete’s sake. It doesn’t even have pumpkin in it. It’s a combination of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and allspice…a historical combination of relish that goes waaaaayyyy back. You can blame that mermaid logoed, poo-juice vending, Seattle based mega franchise for all the hoopla. They first introduced it in 2003. Ever since then, it’s been a slow circling drain into pumpkin spiced hell, and you and I are along for the ride. Pumpkin spiced beer, pumpkin spiced mac ‘n’ cheese, pumpkin spiced divorce lawyers. WE ARE ALL TRUSTEES IN THE PUMPKIN SPICED PRISON OF OUR OWN MAKING.
Do you want to win a box of limited edition Pumpkin Spice Kraft Mac & Cheese? Of course you do! Tag us in a tweet with #PumpkinSpiceKMC + #Sweepstakes for a chance to win.
No purchase necessary. 18+. Ends: 9/29/20. Rules:https://t.co/9jcGAJfec2 pic.twitter.com/VggsDrsjAl— Kraft Mac & Cheese (@kraftmacncheese) September 25, 2020
Now, before you go blaming Satan and other assorted deific representation of reprehensible evil for the blight upon the world that is PSL, you should probably look in the mirror. That’s right…it’s you and I who are responsible for the mildly spicy, yet sweet kiss of impending doom that haunts us all for a few months of every year.
It’s called FOMO, and it’s a tool marketing whizzes have used since the dawn of time (or dawn of selling things that aren’t that important in the first place). Seriously…it’s a social phenomenon. One that the well paid, greasy sleazes who sell things to us use to reinforce the faux importance of a thing…a thing like pumpkin spice. Don’t believe me? Think that pumpkin spice is just that good? Check this out…
That’s right. Limited time availability, combined with an absolute pasting of your social media feeds, leads you to believe that you’ve got to have pumpkin spice. Like that crackhead, Honeycomb mascot did when it concerned breakfast cereal in the late 90’s/early aught’s.
Nothing sells sugar disguised as breakfast cereal like a debased, ready to sell his soul for honeycomb, possible sexual favor granting mascot eh?
So…enjoy your Pumpkin Spiced…whatever. Now you know why it’s such a big thing this time of year. The one-two punch of a reinforced sense of nostalgia combined with the psychological, mind-blowing, plastering of all things pumpkin spice pretty much everywhere…can make it hard to avoid NOT partaking in all the hoopla.
While you’re at it, be sure to check out all the amazing things you can do during the start of the fall season here…
https://www.931magic.com/magic-events/
Thanks for stopping by.
-Max
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